January 31; 7:30AM - 11:20AM

This morning I had a dream four times, all with separate endings. It was very mundane and all the characters were fictional, but something very significant came up when I awoke.

It was the bed.

He stared at it for

– how long?

The thoughts rolled in his mind

Of all the emptiness it carried.

The empty people, the cold barren sheets.

What would he do if the emptiness

Lasted forever?

Why would it have to? Yet,

His heart did not seem empty;

Filled to capacity by his companions,

The rapid beating, the pulse

Of their lives within his own being.

Perhaps the only love he’d know would be

The gift of a love stronger than that which he’d settle for

In his bed.

Maybe that was all he ever needed.

January 25; Sometime between 5AM and 7AM

The recess above the casino was hollow and black against the red and gold of the rooms below. I was crawling in the attic of the casino on iron grating, which served as the ceiling of the room I was above. My instructions from my boss were to observe the poker games being played below, taking note of anyone that was cheating. There was one character in particular that seemed very suspicious and I watched him intently, following his hands, eyes, and the movements of his fingers. I noticed he would take a long time showing his hand in the end, doing alot of fidgeting with his legs. What I discovered was that he would hide stolen poker chips under the table and, if he were to reveal a winning hand, would slide his foot out of his loafer and grab extra poker chips with his feet, placing them on the table with his cards without the other players noticing. Just as he is about to make his move, I punched through the grating underneath me and fell on top of him. I yelled out to expose his trickery, but he picked me up and threw me across the table, moving around all the cards in play. As I slid across the table, the man who hired me rolled under the table to the other side in order to dodge my fall. When I was getting back up, I saw my bosses cards and found out he had a stash of Kings in a small crevice underneath the tabletop. I yell out, "You made me a fool!" just as I see him reach towards his belt and grab a revolver. Slinging his arm, he shoots three times. I try and duck from the shots, but as I slowly wake up from sleep I feel three pulses in my neck, and I'm curled up in the fetal position in my bed, my entire body shaking from tension.

January 22; 7:04AM

The only light in the room was filtered by gold curtains which hung loosely against the window. We were tangled in white sheets from the love-making we just finished. He started kissing me with apprehension, softly mouthing inaudible words as we kissed; Jumbled words that formed sentences, with sound, evolving into speech, describing all the things about me he could not love.

"I can't love you anymore. Your body doesn't feel right."

I continued kissing him hungrily, trying to make his words go away. Instead of stifling his comments, they began infiltrating my mind, making me see myself as he had begun seeing me. Then I could only see my mouth, my loathsome mouth, that held the last memories I had of the man that once filled the empty space on my bed.

I woke up and went to class.

January 18; 6:18AM

The beginning of this dream is very hazy, however I remember that it began in the forest just around sunset. It was very pretty and the colors I remember most are orange and green. I was with my friend, D. This beginning part had something to do with her escaping, although I'm not sure why or what from.

What I remember vividly is the final scene of the dream. It began with us running through a field, just around twilight, towards an abandoned house which, in the dream, was where she lived. The whole scene was very blue, and I remember the moon rising in the sky to my left no matter what direction I faced. Once we reached the house, I chased her into various rooms, passing through opaque beams of white moonlight flooding in through the windows. She ran into the bathroom, dingy and rusted, and jumped in the bathtub against the faucet. We sat there for awhile, not saying anything. She spoke the first words, "When the water runs you know I'm gone". Her words fell dead on me, not quite understanding, so I asked her to explain what she meant. She replies, "I can't" then her expression falls flat. As I adjust my position in the tub, I notice the rising water level, now up to my waist.

January 14; 9:10AM

I wonder what bees symbolize?

I had a dream in two parts, the latter being the only one that was interesting. In the second part, I walked into a shed that was swarmed with bees, although I did not realize they were there prior to entering the building. They never attacked me, however one landed on my right hand, which is interesting because I'm right-handed. I was trying to flick it off my hand, very violently until I woke up.

I hope it means there is good fortune in my future.

...Or I'm going to meet a rich man.

January 11; 6AM

Setting: A high school in the 1980's

Protagonist: Me

I wasn't a very "cool" kid, but I did always know what the cool kids did; They went to the nightclub. This one in particular was called "Night Shine" and it was adjoining the school building and had only been open a few years. Night Shine was the hottest thing in town for high schoolers and on Fridays, that's where everyone would be. That is, everyone except for me. Instead, I would spend my time in the library reading literature and historical texts. One day, I stumbled upon a book that referenced the history of the high school and discovered that the space Night Shine occupied had once been a biology and research lab. Nothing I found, however, mentioned what this lab contained or why it was shut down. In fact, all the documentation stopped at a certain time, as if it just disappeared. I decided to do some research of my own. I gathered all the information I could regarding the research lab and any photos that corresponded to the articles I found. One image that intrigued me was one of a column of butterflies that were strung together on single strings of thin fishing wire. They were hung from the ceiling and formed a ring around a sort of pillar of light.

The following night, I started looking around the nightclub knowing that it would be really slow on a school night. According to the pictures I had, there was a large portion of the old laboratory that was sealed off by a wall to the nightclub, which blended into the adjacent walls. However, the room did not extend into any other rooms surrounding it either. At some point, I found a way to get into the space by crawling into one of the air vents that led right into the room.

Once inside, I found an entire research laboratory that had been completely abandoned by the high school decades prior. From what I could tell, some of the equipment had recently been used. Since it was so dark, and I wasn't sure if anyone saw me crawl in, I decided to gather as much information as I could, pulling together books and writing logs that I could go over once I left.

The dream skips here and I am back at the nightclub later in the week, on a Friday just after a pep rally. It is packed, and for some reason I'm carrying my bike on my back, like a backpack, making it very difficult for me to get into the venue. It switches to third person here, and I am not able to understand why I'm so anxious to get back in or what my motives are. Once I'm back in the laboratory, I notice that someone has walled up a part of it that was not walled up prior, but the mortar was still wet so I attempt to break it down. In doing so, the other walls that supported it crumbled and the crowd in the nightclub panicked, causing a stampede out the door. All the chemicals from the aquariums spilled out causing crowd lagging behind to pass out. Once they cleared out all the people, I went back in the nightclub and the only image I remember is the column of light with the strings of butterflies, now exposed due to the columns in the club falling apart.

What I discovered in the conclusion of the dream was that some official in the school was trying to create the perfect creature that would take over mankind and rule the earth. He or she was continuing an experiment started years prior, where they mutated animals that were to be extinct and extracted a poison from the butterflies that could kill thousands of people at once.

The last scene of the dream was of a boy, set today, in the same school. The whole dream was some sort of connected memory from the protagonist to this adolescent. It ended with the boy standing in front of the old, broken sign that read "Night Shine".

My Statement of Purpose

This is the year I start writing. As an English student (and an aspiring Creative Writing Master's student), good writing is pivotal to the understanding of Literature and argument. I am terrible at it. Have you ever looked at the words on the page you've written and become nauseated? I have.

The goal in this blog is to better my creative writing skills by keeping note of my dreams. This may seem odd, but trust me, it's going to be more arduous than you think! One must think of handling perspectives, cogent character development, crystalizing historical background, and juggling descriptions of "dream-logic" (that which only exists to reason in the subconscious of the individual).

So, to any of you out there reading this, welcome to my own little world.